Just like that…it’s May again. May is Mental Health Awareness month. I started writing in this blog about a year ago. I may not have written as much as I wanted, but at least I started expressing my thoughts and feelings.
So much has changed this past year, it was a year of ups and downs for sure. Let’s look a few of the positives. I stopped going to therapy. I know it seems counter intuitive, but I realized that my therapist and I were not a good fit. I need someone who will listen, and understand that I have to go my own pace. There are so many things that I’m still not ready to face head on.
As I search for a new therapist I find myself opening up to my friends and certain family members more. Definitely a mix of emotions. I finally have divulged certain aspects of my unfavorable past to both my siblings. It only took 21 years, but at least I finally did it. My relationships with them are still not quite where I’d want it to be, but it is definitely better than where it was.
This past year I took that leap of faith and made it official and started my paper crafts business. (Shameless plug check out http://www.etsy.com/shop/KhayesKreations) It definitely keeps me accountable and allows me to step outside of my comfort zone. Sure all the communication is through the app, but hey it’s something.
We also got engaged this past year! Definitely a whirlwind of emotions. Totally ecstatic, but in the back of my mind I’m a little unsure. Not about us, but what the future may bring. Am I going to be a good wife? A good mom? What is the wedding going to be like? Almost everyone woman at one point in their life has imagined what that day would be.
For me it’s changed throughout the years. From beach to garden setting, then city hall and now a backyard wedding. One thing for sure that has never changed is that I’ve always wanted family and close friends there. I want to be able to look out into the crowd and instantly recall a memory with each and everyone there. If it were up to me I would even like for a close friend to be the one to marry us. All I know is, regardless of what that day may look like, it will be about the two of us and the love we share as we officially start our life/family together.
Regardless of all the negatives this year, the positives definitely outweigh them all. Family injuries, health issues, spraining my ankle, toxic work environment…etc it all seems so small compared to everything else we have to be thankful for. So I suggest we continue to look on the brighter side of things, speak up about our mental health and take it one day at a time.
Until next time…
Khaye's Khronicles 