This is Me, Mental Illness and All

Hello Everyone,

For those who know me, know I’m a very private person when it comes my struggles. I have been going back and forth about creating this blog or even speaking about my personal issues for some time now. When I turned 30 a few months ago it was as if a light bulb turned on in my mind and I knew I had to do or say something to take the first step in seeking help. It has been a long road to taking the first step, unfortunately it took being completely undone to reach this point.

For the longest time when I have been asked, “How are you?” my answer has always been “Fine.” In reality I was as far from “Fine.” I just could never put to words all the emotions and thoughts going through my mind. This may come as a surprise to a lot of my friends and family. The purpose of this blog is not to gain pity or attention. My only goal or hope is that in by writing and sharing my story I can somehow reach at least ONE person out there to help them realize they are NOT ALONE.

It’s time to #BreakTheStigma. Mental illness is real and for almost all my life it has been taboo to even mention it. With Mental Health Awareness just around the corner, it is definitely fitting to start the conversation. 1 out of 4 adults suffer from some form of mental illness, let’s finally talk about it. It took almost 30 years but I’m glad I took that first step in accepting I wasn’t well and finding someone to reach out to for help.

Life hasn’t been easy and I’m sure I’m not the only one. We all have our struggles, some are internal, some are consequences of our past, whatever it is we all have “baggage” . I strongly believe in the saying, “Treat others as you would like to be treated,” we truly do not know what someone is going through. In this day and age sometimes compassion and empathy are often forgotten in our day to day encounters, let’s change this.

My name is Kharren, friends call me Khaye and I suffer from anxiety and depression. I will no longer be silent. I have come to terms that I have an illness and I’m learning to cope. There is no shame in speaking about it, #IDontMind. It has definitely been difficult to figure out where and when did it all changed? Have I always been this way? When did I stop being me? What is wrong? What happened? Who was I before? What did I enjoy doing? How do I cope? Where do I start? What do I do? What’s next?

I read online somewhere, “Depression is a flaw in chemistry not character.” It’s true, my core values have not changed, but I know I am definitely not who I used to be or maybe what I pretended to be?  As I try to figure out the answers to these questions, feel free to come along on my journey to finding myself once again. Better yet, maybe you too have similar questions for yourself? There is no shame in seeking help, it’s a step in the right direction and who are others to judge us? We are getting the help we need. If after reading this and some people shy away from me, I’ll understand. I would hope that those closest to me will see past the stigma.

Until next time…